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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24403942">i'm in love with a boy i know</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumsmitchells/pseuds/callumsmitchells'>callumsmitchells</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EastEnders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, M/M, but mainly fluff, episode coda, tiniest bit of angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:35:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>574</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24403942</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumsmitchells/pseuds/callumsmitchells</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben is struggling with his hearing loss, and Callum's heart breaks because of it. He tries to help.</p>
<p>or, Callum asks Ben to feel his heart.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>96</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'm in love with a boy i know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>last night's episode broke my heart, and the scene where callum takes ben to feel the music made me bawl, so this was borne out of it </p>
<p>for katie x</p>
<p>tumblr: @callumsmitchells</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You what?” Ben asks, pulling back from Callum.</p>
<p><br/>They were back in the flat, and frosty tension swirled around them, the air stuffy. Like one wrong move would set off an alarm. Everything was going fine, perfectly even, until those girls started laughing. Ben’s face switched from joy, to despair, and ever since then, he had been a wreck, hands shaky and on edge. </p>
<p><br/>Callum presses a hand to Ben’s cheeks, rubbing his thumb over his warm skin. Fingers dipped into his hair, the pads of Callum’s fingertips running over the course hair. Under his touch, Callum can feel the tension in Ben’s jaw.</p>
<p><br/>“My heart, Ben.” He reiterates, one hand placed over it. “I want you to feel my heart.”</p>
<p><br/>“Why?” Ben asks, shrugging his shoulders. </p>
<p><br/>Callum holds out his hand, and waits for Ben to hold it. He does. Callum knows him too well. With a gentle, encouraging smile, Callum presses their joined hands to his own chest, and even he could feel every thump of his heart. He pulls his hand back, and allows Ben to take it all in. This is for him. All for Ben.</p>
<p><br/>The air between them dissipates, and Callum focuses solely on Ben, watching as his face contorts. There’s sadness in his eyes, a loneliness. It breaks Callum’s heart. Ben’s hand spreads across Callum’s chest, and under his touch, he can feel each individual thump of Callum’s heart, his chest rising and falling with every breath. Ben smiles. </p>
<p><br/>Callum can’t possibly know, because he’s a notoriously heavy sleeper, but on the occasional night, when Ben wakes up from a nightmare, and he can’t see or hear anything, he rests his head on Callum’s chest, and it reminds him that he’s okay. That everything will be fine. That Callum is there for him, always. </p>
<p><br/>“Can I,” Ben starts, looking up at Callum. He pauses for a moment, and feels as Callum’s heart beat increases. “Can I rest my head there?” Ben asks, voice slow, unsure of himself. </p>
<p><br/>Callum’s knees nearly buckle from underneath him, but he fixes himself silently. The hand on Ben’s cheek remains there, and Callum wipes a tear that had fallen, away. No words were spoken between them, and they didn’t need to be. Ben takes two steps forward, and falls into Callum’s arms, his ear pressed to Callum’s chest. He shuts his eyes, and everything suddenly becomes much more heightened. He can smell Callum’s aftershave, the scent still lingering on his body. He can feel every touch that Callum presses to his body. He can feel the lips that are pressed to the crown of his head, and he knows that Callum is there, with him. But most importantly, he can feel each individual thump of Callum’s heart, and he knows that it’s beating for him. </p>
<p><br/>Tears fell from his eyes, dropping onto Callum’s shirt, staining it. “I can feel it Callum, I can feel it!” He shouted above the wave of tears, emotions overcoming him, shoulders jerking as he finally unleashed all the pain and anguish that he had been keeping inside him for weeks now. “I can feel your heart!”</p>
<p><br/>Callum, above him, strokes Ben’s hair, a comforting embrace that they had both grown to love. His lips were still pressed to Ben’s head, and even though Ben can’t hear him, he can feel the lips moving against his body, and he can guess what Callum’s saying. </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <em>It’s beating for you.</em>
</p>
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